Overlord Academy

I am not completely certain on this, but I think that someone has attempted my assassination. What is even worse, they seem to have enlisted the unwitting assistance of one of the Evil Offspring.

Over the weekend, one of my spawn became very ill. Throwing up, and everything else you would associate with a bad flu. Who do you think contracted the illness next? That’s right, me! I spent all day yesterday either in bed or in the bathroom. By the end of the day, I wished I was dead! To make matters worse, in the middle of the night, I developed a head splitting migraine! Centered in my left eye, it did not just hurt bad, it ruined my balance, screwed up my vision, and nauseated me doubly so than the illness.

Now that I seem to be recovering, I am torn. On one hand, I would not wish this upon my worst enemy. On the other hand, BWAHAHAHA!

When I find out who started this, executions shall ensue!

As you gain power and notoriety, you will begin to notice that you have more friends and family than you had previously known. Some may be legitimate, but for the most part, these are charlatans. These charlatans are looking for a free ride, and willing to get it any way they can, even if it means supporting a corrupt maniacal dictator like yourself. Since there is no greater enemy than family spurned, you will be forced to accept some of these freeloaders into official positions in your empire.

While these freeloaders are looking for an easy way through life, you are looking for someone who can get the job done. Using the manipulation pattern, and some carefully crafted questionnaire forms, you can easily determine the talents of your supposed friends and family. Trick them into accepting positions that they just cannot stand to see not done. Trick them into doing actual work. This way, they will think they are protected from your murderous rage, and you get something done for relatively cheap. They do not need to know what the going salary is for a particular job.

Something that the freeloaders will not understand, and which you can use to your advantage, is that you have no qualms whatsoever in sending close family members to the rack, or imprisoning them, or any other countless evil things to do. You are after all the Evil Overlord. If one of them starts to get a big head, deflate it. Easy.

That being said, I am always looking for a new court jester.

I have discovered a great new form of torture. Blood Donating. It is painful and can have interesting side effects. Collecting the blood is good for the empire, extra blood to give to your soldiers when they need it, or for general health maintenance. This is one of those great for the empire and great punishment things. A win win situation. It is definitely not something I ever wish to experience… Again.

Let me just say that I had an interesting experience on Friday. To read about it please go here.

This past week, the Overlord family packed up and went camping in a remote wilderness. It was a chance to unwind, and ignore briefly the stress of ruling the world. Nevermind working on the curriculum for the school. There were also some extended family members in attendence. I keep them around for inspiration. Inspiration for many things. This post is one of them.

One family member had her kids there. Normally this would not have been a problem, we were in the wilderness, large areas for them to get lost in. These two kids were completely unruly! They have no discipline in their life! They bite, kick, scream, anything to get their way. They ride ripshod over their parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, everyone! I enjoy anarchy as much as any other evil maniac, but I will not be disrespected!

Contrast those two little peons, to my children. They are not perfect, but in comparison they are. The Overlord children respect me! They have been taught and disciplined. They know not to play with fire. They know not to hit their ruling father. They know death comes swiftly for even looking at Mrs. Overlord in a threatening manner. My children know how to behave, how to avoid the attentions of any and all adults.

During this week, not once did I need to bend one of them over my knee. The two brats however… Oh yes, they were scolded, not just by me, but by several others not in their immediate family. There were even a few who bent them over their knee. Their parents did not. The interesting thing to note, as soon as an adult established boundries with these brats, they were respected by them. They would obey them, or, in the very least, avoid them completely. Not a bad side-effect, I enjoyed the peaceful quiet.

I have been reminded though, that laws need to be established to ensure that the children in the empire are being properly disciplined. Unruly children will be beaten. Not harshly, but enough for them to know that they screwed up! Punishments will be swift so that the child knows how they screwed up. Parents and/or gaurdians who neglect this responsibility will be beaten. There is no excuse for unruly children!