Having to go Potty
Everyone has to go to bathroom. It is a fact of life. You have to eat and drink in order to function, which then makes you have to vacate the premises. This gets flushed down the sewer where all sorts of disgusting things are. Gross things are being done. Your hands are filthy, full of germs. I have noticed far too often that people (I have seen this in the men’s bathroom, and I have had my spies inform me the same happens in the women’s bathroom) simply do not wash their hands. Are you people insane? Do you not realize the nastiness that is on your hands? This nastiness is then spread to everything you touch. The doors, the desks, computer equipment, your food, and hands when you shake them, are all now contaminated. Now other people have the nastiness on them and it continues to spread, and soon, everyone is getting sick. An entire workforce has been eliminated for an indeterminate time, all because you were too slothful to take two minutes time. Because of this major reduction in the working forces, sensors are going to be installed in the restroom which will allow us to determine those who do not wash their hands properly (yes, there is a proper way to wash your hands. Please read the FAQ when it is posted.) Those who do not wash will immediately have a warrant issued for their arrest. If this is their second offense, there will be no arrest made. Officers will be ordered to shoot to kill. We will not tolerate the stupidity of a few, to cause such a massive decrease in overall productivity. It is just like the french not to wash their hands.
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/hand-washing/HQ00407