I am a Jelly Donut
Years ago when John F. Kennedy said, “Ich bin ein Berliner!” He did not say he was a jelly donut as is commonly thought here in the United States. What he said made perfectly good sense to the people in West Berlin. It is only when the statement was reported back in the States did things go awry.
As Evil Overlord, there will be many times when what you say, is mistaken as something else. Your meaning will get lost in translation, and in the retellings. Although Mr. Kennedy is famous for being shot, and his sordid love affairs with Marilyn Monroe, he is even more famous for saying that he was a jelly donut. Only, he did not say that. Look at how his reputation has been tarnished. Instead of just being the promiscuous dead president, he is the imbecile who could not get a proper translation for, “I am a citizen of Berlin!”
What we need to do is gain absolute control over the media. Have all news reports monitored, all the time. Make all reports subject to government review before it can be reported. Whenever something is reported putting us into a less than ideal light, we quash the report. We make the reporter disappear, as well as anyone else who then subsequently brings up the report. We do not want the general populace thinking that we are in any way inept. Most importantly, we want to make sure that what we are about to say, is completely accurate in translation. Do not just accept the word of your writers. Ask a local, and then reward him handsomely! If later, it comes to your knowledge that he was wrong, send him a nice care package. A package containing cement, and a big fellow, probably named Bubba.
In essence, make sure you know what you are about to say. If you have to, pause and think about what is about to escape for your big mouth. The one used to having a foot stuck in it.
While the Germans certainly understood what he meant, it remains the case that his actual words did, in fact, mean he claimed to be a type of jelly donut called a “berliner”.
This is true, but it was not an issue until people who didn’t speak the language were being told by others who did not understand the nuances of the language, nor the locale, that he had made a blunder. At that point, government censorship would have begun, and then, no more issue. History books would have been rewritten. And the event never would have occurred.